I watched a movie this morning about where processed food comes from. It was horrifying and disgusting. It made me feel dirty and I ended up cleaning my kitchen until everything was very very shiny. And while I was scrubbing, I was thinking. I was thinking about my life and , how I socialize, exercise, eat, live, love, it brought all that up and then some. I realized that I am not happy how I live.
I am a very large woman who loves to eat and loves to cook. I like to make things look beautiful to others. So my food has to look , taste, and smell appealing. I love to cook healthy foods because they make me feel not so sluggish after eating. But I tend to surround myself with people who are if nothing less than addicted to fast fattening foods. And that affects my cooking because I want them to enjoy their meal.
But I need to make a change in my life. I don’t like being in pain, depressed, or only being able to dream of things I want to do. I want to run, literally. I want to get up every morning and go running for miles. I want to hike when the weather in nice, and I have always wondered what it would be like to go rock climbing.
So in all of this thinking I have made the decision to change MY life. To change how I eat, cook, exercise, and stop dreaming so much because I want to live more then dream. I am a very willful person when I want to be, so I know I can do this. I have done many things in my life that I never thought or even knew I could do.
So here I go. Day one on making a better future for myself. All I know is that it’s going to be hard at times and I may not get the encouragement that I want or even need, but if I can stay focused on my goals and be honest with myself, then I can get there.
